just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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