Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
