made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize