Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
