If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
