It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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