Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
im holly from the hills drunk
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
