Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She just used a chaser for red wine.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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