she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Randomize
