I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
