i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Come on in and take your pants off
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