OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
