Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
