i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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