I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Randomize
