i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize