haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
