therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
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