Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
