so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
