My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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