Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
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