Is it normal to miss your booty call?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
