Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
