who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Be still, my beating vagina.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
