NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
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I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
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I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
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