maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
