he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
