my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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