i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize
