We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
