I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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