He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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