he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Randomize
