Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
