Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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