I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
