WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
