New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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