Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
