My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
