U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
