Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
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