"it" just moved
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Couch. On fire.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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