Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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