I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
