Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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