If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
