can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
