You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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