My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
