Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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