Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
