I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize