please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
