I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
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