Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
