Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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