I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
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