i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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