I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize