how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
