I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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