M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Im part way to drunk.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Randomize
