You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
do nipples grow back?
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize